Just a little rant

I'll be back in New York in 11 days and quite possibly leaving Louisville for good as well. I don't hate Louisville or anything, it's alright, I just don't feel like I can get what I want out of life here. I need to have something constantly going on around me and I need to always have the ability to be a part of that something. New York was great for that, and probably Paris or LA and anything along those lines would be just as good.

I don't know what I want to do about NYU. I'm definitely going for all of this year in order to get at least get an associates in arts and humanities (or whatever the major is) from GSP, but I'm not sure if I want to continue beyond that or not. This semester I'm taking one of my last required GSP classes, a token English class that focuses on modern drama to look like I'm halfway on the right track as a CAS English major, film acting and screenwriting through TSOA open-arts, and I'm signed up for journalism but I might switch over to French. I have no focus and I'm determined to take as many open arts classes as I can now even if I end up taking too many electives to graduate in four years. I hate that I'm in CAS, I hate that in order to keep my NYU scholarship (not even close to a full ride, but still money I don't want to lose) I need to graduate in four years, and I honestly don't know how much a degree in a field I don't care about will help me.

I have no solid goal right now and it's making it impossible for me to focus on anything. I want to do something sort of creative that pays and puts me in some sort of a spotlight. I would be happy with anything from event-planner to dancer to film reviewer, and that's my problem, I let myself chase ten dreams at once without focusing on becoming great at one thing. But maybe my chasing after everything will lead me somewhere good. It's always better to play the game without a clear strategy than to not play at all.